Tuesday, February 5, 2008

i was thinking today about my age. seventeen. when i was a little girl, i couldn't wait to be seventeen. i thought i was going to be exactly like dj tanner and all of my cool and pretty babysitters that sat with me for hours, painting my nails assorted shades of pink and braiding my hair.

somewhere along the lines of wanting to be a cast member on full house and playing with polly pocket, i grew up. except, i didn't grow into the girl i always imagined... for starters, bob saget didn't play my dad on national television, and my best friends name isn't kimmy. but in actuality... i grew up and turned slightly sour. i started getting more misanthropic than the little girl in pig tails. i stopped listening and started shutting the world out. when i was 10, i wanted to be 16, when i was 16, i wanted to be 26... and well, i think you get the idea.

the thing is, when i stopped acting my age, i realized how okay my age really is. no matter what i'd like to be, right now i'm just a junior in high school. and even i forget that sometimes. but when it comes down to it, i can only go by what i've learned thus far. i don't have the experience to be on everyones level - and even though i can get there sometimes, other times its just not possible. yes, sometimes i can act 27... but i can easily turn around and act as childish and naive as the little girl with the pink nails.

this isn't a 'don't let me fool you' warning, its more of a statement. almost a declaration. because, while a lot of things i want to be doing right now might be out of my reach because of my age and ability, what i can do is plan my future and think big. my faith waivers on the subject of many things... thinking big isn't one of them. one of my favorite quotes is, "reach for the stars... even if you fall, you'll land amongst the clouds." i think that just about sums it up.

at this moment, the future seems rather daunting... the steps involved in working towards everything - standarized tests, applications, extracurriculars - seem more like a walk towards the plank than a stroll into success. but in retrospect, this isn't really a time for excuses, more a celebration. because i think that ten years ago, i was pretty smart. i think being seventeen is pretty cool.

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1 Comments:

Blogger The Dagger said...

i'm laughing so hard at the label. you make my life.

February 6, 2008 at 10:58 AM  

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